When you walk through a storm

hold your head up high,

and don't be afraid of the dark.

At the end of the storm

is a golden sky,

and the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind.

Walk on through the rain,

though your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on,

walk on

with hope in your heart,

and you'll never walk alone.

You'll never walk alone.

- from "Carousel"

It's come down to just a few days... Tuesday afternoon I leave behind my comfortable life in God's Pocket, and trek ahead on a new adventure in the Emerald City.

Auditioning for a school like Cornish was something that never even crossed my mind. I had my life planned out so differently. The Dream: Go to school in New York, marry a rich man with an accent, have 2 children, adopt 2 more children, and spend the rest of my life performing on Broadway and traveling the world.

By January of my senior year, my plans turned into... Go to school at Clatsop Community College, transfer somewhere with an AAOT... Then move to New York and do the "real stuff"... While I knew I needed to make the choice at first to forgo that plan and stay here, I didn't know why -- and I wasn't totally happy with it. I WANTED the other plan. I WANTED the charmed life. I WANTED the Dream.

I've learned so much in the last 3 years -- all about how our plans NEVER go how we want them to. Life is funny like that. I've made and changed plans at least 5 times over the past year and a half alone... There is no way we can ever know what is REALLY going to happen!

If you would have told me a year ago that I'd be attending Cornish in the Fall of 2010, I'd have never believed you. At this time last year, I was just going to move to Seattle, work full time, perform part time, hopefully obtain my equity card from the 5th Ave. Theatre, and THEN go about the Dream.

Only now am I realizing that this whole life... It's ALL the Dream. It's just taking the scenic route.

I'm moving to Seattle instead of New York. I'm going to Cornish College of the Arts instead of Manhattanville. I'm majoring in classical voice performance with an emphasis on musical theatre voice performance... Okay so that's the same :) I'm living in dorms and not a penthouse with a rooftop terrace. I'm spending hundreds of dollars at the U Bookstore rather than at Bloomingdales. I'm performing in recitals rather than in "Wicked" or "Les Miz". I'm not married, no kids, and the farthest I've been out of the U.S. is Canada... And I'm HAPPY.

I AM living the charmed life. I AM blessed. I AM loved. I AM living the Dream.

Plans change.

Our plans do, anyway.

God's plans are always the same.

Put your trust in Him, he'll get you to where you need to be.

NEED being key.

What you want isn't always what you need.

I know that now.

I'll still get to New York, just not right away, and maybe only for a little while. I'll still get married... He may not be rich, but he'll probably have an accent (I just can't get rid of that one so easily :D) I'll still have kids and I'll still adopt -- but 4? Maybe... Maybe 6. Maybe 8! It's not totally up to me. I'll travel, but I don't know where. I'll perform, but it might be open mic night's for the rest of my life. I have no way of knowing every detail of what's ahead. I have no way of planning out every single day.

A friend of mine recently consoled me during a bad day by saying, "Don't worry little one. Everything always works out the way it's supposed to. Isn't that comforting?"

Comforting, indeed :)

Don't be afraid of changed plans, because in reality, they haven't really changed at all.

Tomorrow is a big day for me.

A lifelong wish comes true.

It's nothing big, nothing substantial -- actually, when I sit back and think about it, it seems pretty silly.

But tomorrow is the day I get a new smile.

The gap in my front teeth isn't large -- not anymore. As a kid I could fit the front of my pinkie between them. I dreamed of the day that I could get braces and no longer have to look at myself and see that hole. That day never came. As I got older and my wisdom teeth started coming in, everything started to push together -- the gap began to close. But in my head, it's still massive.

During my last trip to the dentist, we found that I had chipped part of one of my front teeth. The first idea was to file it -- something I was emotionally against. Anything to make the gap even wider wasn't something I was going to go for... Not if there were other options. Luckily for me, there were :)

A decision was made to fill in the chip -- and my gap right along with it... At no extra charge! While the procedure may be cosmetic, it's going on the form as reconstructive. Totally covered by insurance.

To some, it may seem like no big deal.

But for a girl who, at a young age, trained herself to smile with her tongue strategically placed behind her teeth, so that at a certain angle and distance the gap was almost non-existant... This is a huge blessing.

The reality that my sisters and I are leaving each other is becoming clearer.

The grief is setting in.

I get to spend this weekend with some of my most favorite people.

3 years ago when we graduated from high school, we went from seeing each other every single day, to not -- in a matter of moments.

This weekend will be the first time that some of us have seen each other since that time we were taken out of our normal routine, and definitely the first time we have ALL been together at once.

The beauty of the situation?
The distance means nothing.
The time spent apart has no effect.

We come together as though we never left.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what the term "best friends" really means.

I'm not here to talk about myself today.
I'm not here to give any new news.

I'm here to remind about news already passed.


Haiti.


It is so easy to become... Exhausted from compassion.
It is easy to move on and forget when you don't see the pain and destruction everyday.
But the work isn't over.
There is so much more to be done.

Many of you remember Molly Hightower -- you either know her from the news, or from my previous posts. She was the niece of my Mom's good friend, and now, she is one of our greatest inspirations.



I encourage you to visit her blog: http://mollyinhaiti.blogspot.com/, and if you are so moved to do so, you can make a donation at http://www.friendsoftheorphans.org/molly.


The work in Haiti is not over.
Not even close.

You can send donations.
Send care packages.
Sponsor a child.
Volunteer.

Pray.

If all you can do is pray, it is enough.

I am also posting the music video for Michael W. Smith's "Come Together Now". He wrote the song for Haiti -- in the style of "We are the World". Over 100 Contemporary Christian and Country music artists contributed to this piece, as well as over 100 kids from around Nashville.

This song isn't about religion.
It isn't about the ever present battle of the church vs. the world.

It's about coming together for the good of mankind.
Working together.
Living together.
Loving together.

It's about not forgetting what we are all here to do.

One. Month.

It's all done.
Officially over.

I just opened an email saying that every. last. bit. of paperwork for Cornish is turned in.

All that's left is to wait on the news about the roommate.
Fingers crossed for a fun one!


Also -- how is it August, already?!?!
Complete insanity, this "the older you get, the faster time passes" thing.