Summaries, summaries...

- Finnfest came and went as it always does -- so quickly, yet so slowly at the same time. It's one of those things that can only be understood if you attend. I feel like my performances went well... I sang 6 songs at different times throughout the day, ending with "Taylor the Latte Boy", naturally. I didn't forget my lyrics in the songs I was worried I would, and people laughed in all the right places of "Taylor" :) Success.

It was definitely my favorite of all the festivals, to date. I don't know what it was exactly, but I really enjoyed myself... I mean, I always do, but this time more than ever. It could be the nostalgia settling in as I prepare to move away from this tiny town, it could be that we recently said goodbye to my cousin Rosie, one of the women who started the festival, and I was missing her. It could also be that all of my commitments throughout the weekend only consisted of activities I enjoyed, and therefore wasn't stressed beyond belief.

- The Sillanpää family was back for this festival -- Jemina, Selina, and their parents Seppo and Aija. I always love when they come. They are amazing performers and even more amazing people. Jemina and Selina are living in Helsinki in a brand new "bigger than before" apartment, so we're hoping sometime in these next couples years I can make a trip over and stay with them. Let's pray it works out!

You can all buy their newest album -- I think from '08 -- on iTunes. Band'o: Huu. "Huu" is one of my favorite songs of theirs, and I'm pretty sure Jemina wrote it... Actually, I think the majority of the album, if not the whole thing, is comprised of original works by the girls. Even if you don't understand Finnish, it's still enjoyable.

- I saw a documentary during the festival that inspired me to no end: "The Singing Revolution". I highly recommend it to anyone who likes history. It's about the country Estonia, Finland's neighbor to the South -- separated by the Baltic -- and how music helped them gain their independence from the Soviet Union... Something they fought decades for, and finally gained in the early 90's. There were so many moments that seemed like they could only be written in some fictional Hollywood project, except they were true. Naturally, I cried from beginning to end. It's one of the most inspiring films I've ever seen in any genre, and now I'm desperate to attend the annual Estonian Song Festival. Watch the movie and you'll understand what I'm talking about.

It was also really interesting how much I felt I related to the people in the film. Not because I've shared similar experiences in prejudice or persecution, but because they looked like me. The children in the movie looked more like me than any kids in any Finnish movies I've seen. Watching them was like watching me and my sisters and my cousins. And the Estonian language is really close to Finnish... I understood more (when I wasn't reading subtitles) than I expected to. They share a lot of the same vocabulary... They share more commonalities than Finland shares with the Scandinavian countries.

So basically, I have a newfound love for the country of Estonia.

- The dance was awesome, as usual -- and we made complete fools of ourselves, as usual. We polkaed, waltzed, schottished and humpaaed 'til tomorrow came, and even learned a few new dances. Also, a certain member of the band was super adorable. That's all I'm sayin' ;)

- Only 2 days after I wrote the post concerning my cousins the Burkhalters, the second referral came. Babies Teseti (4 months) and Dejene (11 months) have begun the process of joining the family. We couldn't be more pleased, and the boys are beautiful! I've yet to hear what their names will be when the adoption becomes official... I'm very excited to learn that news when it comes.

- My baby sister, Kayti, turns 14 today. She starts high school in September. I'm feeling pretty... Old, right now.

A short, but heartfelt congratulations to my cousins -- the Burkhalters. We are filled with joy and anticipation to meet your new boy! He is beautiful and so blessed to be joining your family. We're waiting on the edge of our seats for that next referral, so that a second precious boy can be as lucky as this one -- we pray that the call comes soon.

We love you so much!

I am an echo

of the eternal cry of

'Let There Be'.

- from "Children of Eden"

July 13th was always our day -- my Grandpa's and mine.
Born on the same day, 61 years apart.
It was my favorite part about my birthday: the fact that I got to share it with someone I loved so much.

July 9th, 2006 took that away from me.

Losing my Grandpa in general was hard enough -- losing him so close to our day was gut-wrenching.

Birthdays are supposed to be full of joy and fun and celebration.
I used to have a countdown going year-round.
I used to put up signs around the house, blatantly, but good-naturedly reminding my family that my birthday was coming up soon.

But suddenly I had to celebrate in a way that I didn't know how: alone.

Not alone, like no one was there. Alone, like I didn't know how to not share it with my Grandpa anymore. Only now, 4 years later, do I finally feel like I've learned how. This birthday was the first one that I didn't spend the whole day missing him.

I thought about him that morning when I woke up, as I do every birthday... But this time I didn't cry.
I thought about him when I read my card from my Grandma, seeing only her signature at the bottom... But this time I didn't have to bite my lip in order to keep myself from publicly losing it.
I thought about him as I went to sleep, as the last moments of my 21st birthday passed by... But this time I didn't feel guilty for laughing or smiling, because I know that having a good time is exactly what he would want me to do. Those of you who knew him, know just how true that is :)

I want to thank all of my family and friends who helped me celebrate this year.

Whether you were with me at midnight, ringing in my day with a bottle of champagne and a rousing rendition of "Paper Planes", with me during the day, celebrating over a cup of coffee and good conversation, or sending me your love and well wishes over the lovely world of Facebook -- I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

It's because of you that I'm able to move on and have fun and celebrate this life.

And Grandpa... I love you. Always.

'Cause it's a kid with a chance,

it's a Rock 'n Roll band,

it's a farmer cuttin' hay.

It's a big flag flyin' in the Summer wind

over a fallen hero's grave...

You can shake our ground, but you can't break our foundation.

We bleed Stars and Stripes.

Let me ask you something.

If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience?

Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?

If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage,

or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?

If someone prayed for the family to be closer,

do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings,

or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

- from "Evan Almighty"

Seize your opportunities.

One of my favorite pastimes: Ladies coffee and conversation.

We try to get together every couple weeks, though often times the span between visits is longer. (Ahhh, life.) It's always loud and vibrant -- filled with stories and laughter and love.

Today was especially love-filled.

Baby Moses, the newest gift to my friends at http://fromwhomallblessingsflow.blogspot.com/, arrived from Ethiopa nearly a month ago, and today we celebrated his homecoming.

He is absolutely beautiful: smooth chocolate skin, chunky thighs and pudgy feet and hands that you just can't stop staring at. His hair is thick and soft, and running your fingers through it is addicting. He has the biggest smile, and has a wise understanding to widen it every time a camera is raised -- and his EYES. Oh goodness, his eyes. Large and observant, expressive and knowing, with thick eyelashes that go on forever. He has an easy temperament, LOVES attention and babbles like a pro.

I could go on and on all day.

The real point of my posting this, though, is that spending time with this precious boy today reaffirmed my heartfelt knowledge of my calling to adopt.

I wasn't very young when I found out that my Dad's younger sister was adopted, but I knew right then that it was something I wanted to do. Later on, I would come to realize that it wasn't so much my own want, but rather something I was supposed to do.

I've always loved children.
I've always had a heart for people who hurt in ways I can't understand.
I've always wanted to... Make a difference.

I don't have a voice or opinion esteemed high enough to "save the world".
I don't have the resources to build schools or houses.
I don't have the funds to form foundations or charities.

But I do have love.

It's the one thing I know how to do without second guessing my abilities.
Sometimes I love too much.

To be able to open my arms and spread this love to children who need it...
Sometimes I can hardly wait.

We walked until 1:30 am -- three friends and a dog.

Side by side down the middle of the road we went,
with nothing to light the way but the moon,
and occasional flicker of a flashlight to be sure
the aging lab hadn't wandered too far.

We looked at the stars winking in the massive black sky,
and breathed in the cold, perfumed air that comes
hand in hand with the Summer nights in our tiny town in the woods.

We talked of the things
that only the greatest of friends can speak of
without feeling that the conversation is going too far.
We talked of the things
that only the greatest of friends can speak of
without feeling that the conversation isn't going anywhere at all.

And just like with any other night spent together,
random moments interrupted any sort of poetic stride
we thought we had found in our setting.
Go figure.
But as we know: Anything can happen in the woods.

Walking back against the wind I could feel my breath
run into my face
before rising into the sky.
I could hear the river rushing through it's path
-- never stopping, always rolling --
and the frogs singing their last lullabies.

I said goodnight to my friends and the dog,
thanking the starry Heaven above me
for placing them in my life,

and for placing us here.