One of my favorite pastimes: Ladies coffee and conversation.

We try to get together every couple weeks, though often times the span between visits is longer. (Ahhh, life.) It's always loud and vibrant -- filled with stories and laughter and love.

Today was especially love-filled.

Baby Moses, the newest gift to my friends at http://fromwhomallblessingsflow.blogspot.com/, arrived from Ethiopa nearly a month ago, and today we celebrated his homecoming.

He is absolutely beautiful: smooth chocolate skin, chunky thighs and pudgy feet and hands that you just can't stop staring at. His hair is thick and soft, and running your fingers through it is addicting. He has the biggest smile, and has a wise understanding to widen it every time a camera is raised -- and his EYES. Oh goodness, his eyes. Large and observant, expressive and knowing, with thick eyelashes that go on forever. He has an easy temperament, LOVES attention and babbles like a pro.

I could go on and on all day.

The real point of my posting this, though, is that spending time with this precious boy today reaffirmed my heartfelt knowledge of my calling to adopt.

I wasn't very young when I found out that my Dad's younger sister was adopted, but I knew right then that it was something I wanted to do. Later on, I would come to realize that it wasn't so much my own want, but rather something I was supposed to do.

I've always loved children.
I've always had a heart for people who hurt in ways I can't understand.
I've always wanted to... Make a difference.

I don't have a voice or opinion esteemed high enough to "save the world".
I don't have the resources to build schools or houses.
I don't have the funds to form foundations or charities.

But I do have love.

It's the one thing I know how to do without second guessing my abilities.
Sometimes I love too much.

To be able to open my arms and spread this love to children who need it...
Sometimes I can hardly wait.

We walked until 1:30 am -- three friends and a dog.

Side by side down the middle of the road we went,
with nothing to light the way but the moon,
and occasional flicker of a flashlight to be sure
the aging lab hadn't wandered too far.

We looked at the stars winking in the massive black sky,
and breathed in the cold, perfumed air that comes
hand in hand with the Summer nights in our tiny town in the woods.

We talked of the things
that only the greatest of friends can speak of
without feeling that the conversation is going too far.
We talked of the things
that only the greatest of friends can speak of
without feeling that the conversation isn't going anywhere at all.

And just like with any other night spent together,
random moments interrupted any sort of poetic stride
we thought we had found in our setting.
Go figure.
But as we know: Anything can happen in the woods.

Walking back against the wind I could feel my breath
run into my face
before rising into the sky.
I could hear the river rushing through it's path
-- never stopping, always rolling --
and the frogs singing their last lullabies.

I said goodnight to my friends and the dog,
thanking the starry Heaven above me
for placing them in my life,

and for placing us here.

Everything is in place.
All that's left is to move into my dorm.

Last week I got my schedule, student ID (memorized it after seeing it once, thank you,) e-mail, and dorm-life checklist.
I met 50% of my classmates (all relatively normal, thank the Lord,) my advisors, my personal coach, and a student from Astoria.
I was counceled about loans, both subsidized and un-subsidized -- something that I'd like to never sit through again. Sooo many words -- sooo many charts. Bleh.
I ate delicious cafeteria food (HALLELUJAH!) and found out that I will NOT be the oldest girl in the dorms.
I enjoyed every overwhelming, confusing minute as I watched the last 8 months of stress come to fruition.

Mostly every minute...

During our Music Department meeting I had the weirdest vertigo (which we later decided was from dehydration/drinking coffee on an empty stomach.) We weren't doing anything significant -- just sitting there, going around the room introducing ourselves. I said my name, hometown and major. Moved on to the next person, and then the next, then the next, etc... Suddenly the room was... Rolling. It wasn't a "spin in a circle for 30 seconds and then try to walk" kind of thing. The room was moving as the course of a wave. I closed my eyes and tried to shake it off, opened my eyes again and everything was white. I thought I passed out, but I could still hear everything. I was sitting next to someone I met at my audition and again later at my campus tour -- someone I've now gotten to know over the past few months since. I just whispered to her that I was dizzy and couldn't see. I knew I needed to put my head down, but didn't want to cause a scene... So she carefully slid my purse in front of me and told me to pretend like I was looking for something. Ha -- clever girl.

2 minutes or so later I could see again, but the rolling didn't stop until about 3 minutes after that. So strange. Yuck.

Apart from that eerie experience, everything was awesome. I had a great time meeting my new people -- the ones I'll spend the next 4 years with, and had fun spending some much needed quality time with my original people -- who will be in Seattle with me :)

OH! I also learned that I will be graduating during Cornish's 100th anniversary. Don't ask me why, but things like that excite me. Great timing, on my part, applying when I did (Ha!)

Summertime

and the living is easy

:)

Happy Memorial Day

Let us remember those who gave their lives,

and think of those who serve today.

Be inspired by their courage.

Be humbled by their sacrifice.

Pray for their safety.

Sandra, Casey, Andy, Josh, Nick, Jeremy, Beau and Keifer:

Thank You,

for everything you're doing.

You make me so proud.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

- John 15:13

I love being a girl.
I can feel what you're feeling

as you're feeling it inside
the feeling
before.
I am an emotional creature.
Things do not come to me
as intellectual theories or hard-shaped ideas.
They pulse through my organs and legs
and burn up my ears.
I know when your girlfriend's really pissed off
even though she appears to give you what
you want.
I know when a storm is coming.
I can feel the invisible stirrings in the air.
It's a vibe I share.

I am an emotional creature.
I love that I do not take things lightly.
Everything is intense to me.
The way I walk in the street.
The way my mother wakes me up.
The way I hear bad news.
The way it's unbearable when I lose.

I am an emotional creature.
I am connected to everything and everyone.
I was born like that.
Don't you dare say all negative that it's a
teenage thing
or it's only because I'm a girl.
These feelings make me better.
They make me ready.
They make me present.
They make me strong.

I am an emotional creature.
There is a particular way of knowing.
It's like the older women somehow forgot.
I rejoice that it's still in my body.
I know when the coconut's about to fall.
I know that we've pushed the earth too far.
I know my father isn't coming back.
That no one's prepared for the fire.

I know that lipstick means
more than show.
I know that boys feel super-insecure
and so-called terrorists are made, not born.
I know that one kiss can take
away all my decision-making ability
and sometimes, you know, it should.

This is not extreme.
It's a girl thing.
What we would all be
if the big door inside us flew open.
Don't tell me not to cry
To calm down
Not to be so extreme
To be reasonable.
I am an emotional creature.
It's how the earth got made.
How the wind continues to pollinate.
You don't tell the Atlantic Ocean
to behave.

I am an emotional creature.
Why would you want to shut me down
or turn me off?
I am your remaining memory.
I am connecting you to your source.
Nothing's been diluted.
Nothing's leaked out.
I can take you back.

I love that I can feel the inside
of the feelings in you,
even if it stops my life
even if it hurts too much
or takes me off track
even if it breaks my heart.
It makes me responsible.
I am an emotional
I am an emotional, devotional,
incandotional creature.
And I love, hear me,
love love love
being a girl.

- from "I Am an Emotional Creature"

by Eve Ensler

Wow, time flies.

It's been over a month since my last post... How did I let that happen? How in the world am I supposed to do what I set out to do -- keep my people updated -- if I never actually DO it?

Something must be done...



Today is a busy day, so bullets it is!

- My last day at Dress Barn was Wednesday. I never expected it to be as emotional as it was -- although, who am I kidding? I am an emotional creature. Eve Ensler had me pegged when she titled that collection of monologues... (Actually now that I write those words, I really should post the monologue I stole them from... Yeah. I'll do that. Next -- I'm on a different train of thought right now.)

- Our Elijah performance went... Relatively well. I'm not going to start getting into what sort of things went wrong, as it was a live performance, and if EVERYTHING goes off without a hitch... Then it really doesn't count. I felt good afterwoods, so I guess that's what counts. Plus, I met some new people from the orchestra -- God knows how much I enjoy new people :)

- One week after the Elijah, my vocal coach had a recital for all of her voice/piano students. I was set to sing 3 of the most demanding I've ever done: Sweet Chance (an art song from the late 19th Century,) O Mio Babbbino Caro (Puccini aria. Gulp.) and Show Me (from My Fair Lady.) All three in different styles; different characters. I had to be focused and prepared to make my voice switch in the ways it needed to -- So of course, I got sick the night before. If I still had my tonsils, they'd be infected. (Good thing I had them out when I did.) I restricted myself to limited talking (what?!) and gargantuan amounts of tea and honey. My performance went alright, I suppose. Adrenaline took away what amount of throat pain it could, but by the last song I was beat, trying to get through as quickly and gracefully as possible.

What really made my day, though, was when I was sitting in the pew, waiting for the recital to start -- focusing -- when I heard "Ahem." Standing above me was the last person I expected to see at this casual small-town recital: Nicole Matthews. She's an old friend -- a friend who has always been such a HUGE support of me with all of my musical endeavors. I hadn't seen her since my high school graduation, and suddenly here she was. She moved back to Portland from DC a couple months ago, but I wasn't expecting to see her until Summertime when my schedule slowed down. I couldn't believe she made the drive for 3 measly songs -- what an amazing friend. I shot up and we hugged for God knows how long, pulling away to say a few words, but never letting go. Such a great surprise.

- The school's Pirates of Penzance went very well -- I was so proud. I loved watching the kids in the audience. You could see every little boys' pirate dreams come to life in their eyes as they watched on the edge of their seats. Alan's niece, Ava, was so enamored with Karli, following her everywhere after the performance, trying to decide if she was actually real... Adorable.

- Jenna Ruth Hinkle made her way into the world on May 14th. I had literally stepped out the door after getting off work, when I got a text from Chris saying they were at the hospital -- and at 7 cm. I fully expected that baby to arrive before I did, but I got there just in time. I walked into the room and 15 minutes later, there she was: The 9 lb 2 oz butterball that completes the Hinkle family.

- Two very dear people, Alex and Riann at http://fromwhomallblessingsflow.blogspot.com/, left for Ethiopa on Sunday, and yesterday met Moses -- their newest precious addition -- for the very first time. I'm so very happy for them, and can't wait until they bring him back so I can hold that sweet boy (and yeah, probably cry. Go figure.)

- I'm still receiving mounds of paperwork from Cornish. I got a big packet of the different required non-artsy classes to choose from... Boring. So boring. I'm so glad that the majority of my classes will be... Not like these, ha. Who knows, they could turn out to be interesting????

-Karli's graduation is fast approaching, and I've volunteered myself to stuff, address, and mail her announcements, as she is crazy busy and doesn't need this dull task on top of everything else. I also really need to get a move on finishing her scrapbook -- which she doesn't know about. Here's to hoping she doesn't read this.